how to stop being obsessed with a crush?

Here's your weekly update.
The only page in my blog that ever gets any pageviews is my very brief and disparaging review of that french film intouchables. Perhaps I should do more film reviews in that case?
So the other week i wrote shitloads of letters and got no replies from family or friends. Lazy lazy people I say. I'm trying to avoid resorting to facebook for superficial contact with my dear humans, but it seems that there's no other option since everyone is rejecting the old fashioned methods as a viable form of communication.

Sorry for rambling, I'm hysterically tired.
So I had a brief depression the other week, perhaps prompted by receiving no attention in my mailbox... only kidding... Saturday and Sunday forced me out of it though. But I'll tell you about that later. Today is Sunday, and after having had a nice stroll around the town with Marta I'm now sat on my red comfy beanbag in my room listening to a youtube playist I've made of songs that i've recently discovered or liked for a while.

So I think I'm going to talk about the roots and solution to my depression, as well as throwing in any news I have that people have given me. I might have to dash off in a bit because the Emili whom i spoke so highly of in one of my previous posts, is going to talk to me on skype after she's finished eating. I like the thought of her doing totally ordinary things, like eating.

Well, I think the roots of my problem is probably a crippling insecurity, which developed for various reasons- although I always think that victims of abuse and bullying allow themselves to become victims by taking on a victim mentality. But how to be assertive without being forcing your will onto others and becoming hateful and domineering?
I have realised that my behaviour is really doing me no good. By which I mean my tendency to jump directly from one relationship to another, which seems to have been the pattern recently- at least for the past couple of years- and before that I think i behaved too outrageously for anyone to even want to have a relationship with me.
It's clear to me that I use sex to make myself feel better about myself- to feel desirable and wanted, and just for a general kick- to shake up the everyday pattern of things.
And yet, women can never be so casual about these things as men are- it's perfectly understandable that after having spent a night of intimacy with someone- perhaps delicate conversation and sharing of feelings as well as delicious physical delights- that we should want this to continue. It makes no sense if after those sweet and tender beginnings your messages go unanswered and he doesn't invite you to further the friendship and develop the closeness that you thought you'd forged.
And yet, it's completely naieve and stupid to think that he would. The lesson from this is not to have casual encounters with anyone that you're actually fussed about.
Of course, I'm talking about a specific experience but trying to cloak it in anonymity.
I really don't take rejection so well, and I am prone to outrageous obsessions. Here I am starting to accredit this boy lots of character traits and values that he probably doesn't really have. I even fucking DREAMED about him. And i started to google things like "how to stop being obsessed with a crush" in the middle of the night.
Of course, I need to calm the fuck down and take a calm and measured look at the situation from a distance. There's no need to feel like I'm crap cos he doesn't want me. He probably doesn't want any girlfriend- and if he did want one, he could do a lot worse than me. So, we shared a sweet moment and that's all it was. I need to bury the natural feelings of rejection and humiliation which threaten to strangle me, and accept that what I thought was the beginnings of an exciting adventure was infact a mistaken dead-end wrong-turn.
The last thing I want to be doing now, if losing my dignity is my greatest fear, is be sending him pointless messages and begging for another rendez-vous. I shall return the book he allowed me to borrow, and not offer myself to him again. Two can play at being aloof.
(this is someone English by the way, since I really haven't managed to find anything resembling love or romance over here. I had broken up with the ex-boyfriend a couple of days before, and after having got each others numbers at at the pub, I accepted his invitation to go to his house a couple of days later. I was full of nervous anticipation and excitement before I went round, like a teenager with a crush, fantasising about him and the delights to come while sat in the dark cinema.
I have always liked this boy, and every time we crossed in the street by chance, felt a strange complicity with him and an almost painful stab of attraction, like Juliette when she foresees that her romance with Romeo will only lead to death and doom. I knew from the look in his eyes that he felt the same, and in such a relatively small city as mine and with us having acquaintances in common, knew that eventually we would end up seeing this attraction through to it's logical conclusion.
I'm not sure what he thinks of me. Probably doesn't preoccupy his mind as much as he has been preoccupying mine. He told me he feels "overwhelmingly depressed" and also told me that i should be warned he is a "directionless loser". But, naturally, this just endears me to him more- since he is so sweet and attractive and sarcastically aggressively shy.
Besides which, when at his house, we drank lambrini out of wine glasses and talked about our feelings, what we believe, our lives up til now, and a whole host of general topics. It would have been better not to allow him to start kissing me, but my willpower is so weak, and it's hard not to do something that you actually do really want to do.
So- in order to get a love which is genuine, or rather, in order to trick boys into falling in love with me, I'm attempting a year of celibacy. You can come and suck on my soul cos my body is out of bounds. I really should be doing this for myself, not for any gainful ends. Because, the way I treat myself is really no good for my self esteem. It's as though I think i'm good enough to be used, but not good enough to be loved, and thus behave accordingly.
What do you think of my experiment? How long do you think it will last for? If this boy- who we shall have to give a psydemym (how the fuck do you spell that word?) let's call him Kev, since that's his actual real name, well, if he asks me to hang out, what should I say? Would I be letting a good opportunity pass? If he doesn't call me I know I shall be upset. But I won't have my holidays and my precious days back home ruined by my mental obsessions.
I should probably see a shrink about them or something- giving another person so much importance and value in your life that they don't merit- perhaps this is caused by thinking you yourself are not worth very much. I don't think I need a shrink cos I can psychoanalyse myself with my pop-psychology.

Advice to my dilemmas in the comments section below. I know no one will, but might as well ask.