Those were the questions I ended up posing and maybe not answering in the following letter (to my friend M) which I shall divulge here in censored form:
About conformity:
Friends with benefits does seem a good idea in theory. Society puts too much pressure on people to get into relationships, get married, live a standard cardboard-cut-out little life and behave like a herd of sheep- anguished if you find yourself not following the flock and eager not to become ostracised from the group- but WHY?
Why not rejoice in being an individual? In being the one sheep who looks up from mindlessly chewing and starts asking "who am I? What is this life all about?" rather than just passively accepting everything without a thought.
The differences between animals and humans:
The difference between animals and humans is that we ask questions and are not just programmed to survive. A sheep would never have a panic-crisis thinking about it's future as a lamb-chop, or get depressed about the limitations of it's existence, or even really acknowledge it's individuality.
That's why life is so difficult. Humans have that animal brutality- the killing instinct is still there I think, as are all the other animal desires which we have become ashamed of- but combined with this is our awareness of cause and effect, our human intelligence. I think that's why humans are the most evil and destructive creatures on earth.
I read a quotation once which says "of all the creatures made, man is the most detestable, he is the only one that posesses malice, the only once who inflicts pain for sport, knowing it to be pain"
Still, I know you are already a misanthrope, so I shouldn't encourage you.
On the pitfalls of being promiscuous:
Being a slag is all well and good, but really, I've been there and it doesn't make you feel happy at all. It makes me feel disgusted with myself in a sort of subtle way. You tell yourself it doesn't matter, it's just guilt-free pleasure, why the hell not, but even when you feel at your lowest it's good to know that you have your self-control, and giving up control of your body to various people without a care in the world strips you of that in a way.
I don't really care for my body that much, it's just the case which carries "me" or "my soul" but that's exactly the reason why it's important- it's your armour, your protection, what separates you from the cruelties of the outside world.
If you treat yourself as if you're worthless, you're only going to feel even more worthless.
On Hedonism
Another part of me is tempted to say- well, why not be a hedonist and squeeze as much pleasure out of life as possible? If one could live on a blissful tropical island where none of the rules of this society applied, one could put this into practice. Why not just lie in a hammok in the sun and enjoy life. Eat fruit off trees when you're hungry, indulge in pleasure when the desire takes you, just truly live in the moment and never do anything you don't truly want to do? Be guided by your desires?
The problem with putting this into practice in our world is that pleasure is destructive. And eventually you have to go to work to earn the money to finance your pleasure-filled life, which may end up being unpleasant, and an obligation which goes against your desires.
And even if you lived a life where your sole aim was to attain pleasure, drink, drugs and sex say, all the ecstacies, eventually the futility of this would become depressing and the excess destructive. Perhaps pleasure alone is not enough in it's purest form. One needs to feel a sense of achievement, of personal meaning and value.
Stop being unhappy about your life!!!!!
Everyone's afraid that their life doesn't mean anything and when they die it won't make a blind bit of difference. By becoming famous people hope to achieve immortality and to defy death, by going down in history and becoming timeless.
People also immortalise themselves by creating Gods. It seems ingrained in human nature to do this since we've being doing it for millions of years. Right back to the Aztecs even sacrificing human life to please their Gods in the hope of living forever.
So what's to be done?
Nothing really, other than being joyful about life rather than getting distressed about it. Realising that life doesn't have any meaning liberates you, the world is so vast and there's so much to learn. By some astonishing co-incidence you are a consciousness occupying a body with senses with which to experience this vast world. It may just be one little planet among millions, but all the same, realise the miracle of having this consciousness, right now, of having a window into the world- it's so fucking bizarre when you really think about it
You say you would rather "be someone else" but it's all pretty much the same thing whoever you are, and it's kind of a privilidge to even be "being" that it seems kind of unappreciative to want a different body/mind.
And when you think you've got nothing but "not-being" after this life, suicide seems illogical too- like not seeing a film to the end, walking out of the cinema and falling into the abyss
How religious people probably see it
I guess religious people are hoping to walk out of the cinema (life) and find the real world there and waiting (the afterlife/heaven). A part of me still believes that I will walk out of the cinema and blink my eyes in the daylight and find myself in the "spirit" world. Atheism seems so lacking in hope and resigned.
An update on how I am actually doing now:
I had a two or three day mega depression after Marta left. Just felt so alone and trapped and DOWN, and that feeling of absolute sorrow when the slightest thing or self-pitying thought sets you off crying again. It was such an extreme anguish it was unusual. Cried almost all the way through a film while sat on my own in the dark.
Am glad am out of "it" now. I feel bad for you if you feel like that all the time. It is just a chemical i think though, a brain fuck-up, so keep taking your anti sad pills and smile. Sorry for weirdness of this letter, much love and thinking about you and vibes of joy,
S xxx
(That's just my personal opinion anyway, do tell me yours if you care to)
L’homme est un animal social par conséquent il est normal que la société mette de la pression. D’ailleurs cette pression n’est pas forcement extérieure, nous la fabriquons aussi par l’image que nous désirons renvoyer aux autres, de ce que nous attendons de nous même. Certains choisissent d’être des moutons, d’autres des loups, d’autres encore des requins ou petits poisson!Et n’oublions pas ceux qui sont nos bergers! quel est la meilleure solution?? Aucune, le mieux, à mon avis, est d’être un oiseau et de tout voir de très haut, si tu vois ce que je veux dire!! Il faut prendre du recul!!
ReplyDeleteL’homme est mauvais?? Je ne suis pas forcément d’accord, je n’ai jamais vu un enfant véritablement méchant! Ça n’existe pas!! Je pense que l’homme ne naît pas mauvais, mais il le devient et c’est cela qui fait tellement peur! Les hommes sont capable du pire, certes! Mais partout dans tous les pays, dans toutes les villes, surtout dans les endroits très pauvres, les hommes sont aussi capable de gestes de grande solidarité!!! Ghandi, l’abbé Pierre, soeur Theresa et bien d’autres ont fait preuve d’une lumière de bonté, d’une aura de générosité capable d’éclabousser les autres et ainsi de changer bien des choses. Il est parfois plus facile de se tourner vers le coté négatif des évènements car comme cela on n’a plus à se battre, la résignation n’est pas une solution non plus! Si la vie est une sorte de jeu réelle, autant choisir de multiplier les expériences positives et se battre jusqu’au dernier souffle!
Il n y a pas de formule au bonheur, je pense que pour vivre sereinement, il faut déjà s’aimer soi même car sinon on ne peut pas aimer les autres, savoir aimer sans attendre en retour aussi. Rester simple et humble, être soi même et sincère avec nos sentiments. Tout ce ci ne rend pas forcément heureux car il y a aussi des facteurs extérieurs à prendre en compte. Mais je pense que c’est déjà une bonne base.
Il y a u mot important que j’ai oublié dans tout cela, c’est l’intégrité, ne pas être un mouton mais penser par soi même, l’intégrité agit sur notre conscience, sur notre estime de soi et l’image de nous qu’on les autres!! Mon film préféré «Kingdom of heaven» a un passage qui met des mots sur cette façon d’agir :
« Un roi peut déplacer un homme, un père peut commander un fils, même si des rois ou des puissants peuvent commander tes mouvements, tu demeures seul gardien de ton âme. Devant dieu, il ne servira à rien de dire : «d’autres m’ont dit d’agir ainsi», ni que la vertu n’étais pas de mise à ce moment là, car c’est insuffisant.»
Ici que l'on crois en dieu ou pas n'a pas d importance, ce qu'il faut comprendre c'est que :
«c’est le royaume de la conscience ou ce n’est rien»
Je pense que c’est cela le sens de la vie, le royaume de la conscience, le royaume de ta conscience!!!
Les boudhistes veulent carrément atteindre le nirvana, être libéré de tous désirs, de l’illusion et de l’ignorance, ainsi plus de souffrances!! Moi si je me met dans leur vision, je me contenterais déjà d’entretenir un bon karma, vivre serein c’est déja bien et je n’ai pas envie de me priver des choses exitantes de la vie!! (manger pour toi^^)
ReplyDeleteC’est malheureux à dire, mais je pense que les gens religieux, quelque soit la religion, possedent une façon de voir le futur plus positive que les personnes athées. De manière générale quelqu’un de religieux, même dans des moments difficiles, entrevoit toujours une lumière d’espoir du fait de sa foie en dieu. La vie est une épreuve qu’il faut traverser, faites pour éprouver la foie! Quand on perd un proche, pour se consoler, on dit que maleuheureusement, dieu rappel souvent les meilleurs en premier!!
Je suis content que tu te sentes mieux, la perte d’un proches est toujours difficile. Il faut se dire que là ou il est, il ne souffre plus et son esprit est en paix. La douleur, la tristesse, le mal être sont des sentiments normaux qui te rappellent que tu es vivante. Si tu te sents si mal, c’est parcequ’il était aussi une partie de toi, il faut avoir conscience qu’il vivra au travers de toi et de ses proches aussi longtemps qu'il occuperas les esprits. Je vois les choses comme cela, mon grand père est avec moi tous les jours...
Je t’envoies plein d’ondes positives pour ton karma!!
ps : un poème de henley que je trouve cool.
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.