After having a little sob, bemoaning my misfortune at being isolated far from all i love, i got online and my boyfriend gave me a step-by-step detailed guide to cooking lentils and making something delicious. This was much welcomed, since i had planned to go to sleep in the afternoon without anything to eat, and perhaps fall further into my self pitying depression, and further my self destructive weight-loss anorexia plan.
Lentil preparation went well, and filled my little two-room flat with familiar smells. Three hours later it still stinks in here. I felt much better after eating, and after watching a little french TV, i decided to brace the outdoors and go for a lonesome midnight wander. I say midnight wander, i mean half past nine.
It is nice to have a night-time wandering partner, my lovely uni best friend Emily, or my lovely love in his furry coat, but alas, as in life sometimes one must go it alone. Outside my house is a discount supermarket, the car park was deserted and the only sound was the metallic rolling noise of the billboard automatically turning it's advertisements round and round.
I walked down the main road which leads to the town centre, and passed a few people, but all in all few signs of life, one could almost hear every little noise made echo around. I have misplaced my coat somewhere, and am pretty sure it ISN'T in the cinema where i went alone last evening, but i thought i would go and ask anyway, and also try and further the conversation by asking which films are showing tomorrow. The cinema is in an old white building and it's archways are framed in blue neon light which spreads an inviting glow into the street. There's quite a lot of neon scattered about this town, on shop fronts. One walks past shops and hears it buzzing like a fly trapped in a jar.
The man behind the counter was very professional, but friendly, but didn't try and enter into any further conversation other than answering my questions appropriately.
Next, i decended a cobbled street to the harbour, which looks much better at night than it does in the day. There's a stone wall with a ramp up it which was all uplit with yellow lights, and the lights of the cafes accross the water cast a bright reflection in the water. Those cafes are very expensive though, as i discovered on my first day here, when charged three euros for a very diminutive bottle of icetea.
I crossed over the bridge and decided to explore the other side of the harbour. I took a steep dark path, with the aim of reaching the attractive looking church which is uplit splendidly at night and can be seen glittering away on the hill invitingly from the other side of the harbour. The steep cobbled paths were a bit much for me and i was panting away desperately. When i got to the top i found the church to be very disappointing. It was surrounded by concrete and a car park. There was no creepy graveyard as i had hoped. I had planned to secret myself there and have a cigarette while basking in creepy isolation, surrounded by graves and twisty plants, but alas...
I continuted up a dimly lit narrow street, exploring what else is on the other side of the harbour up the hill, but alas it was all quite residential and closed-off to me. I spotted a beautiful playful little cat pouncing around playfully in the shadows and tried to make contact with it. She was friendly, and had her tail up in the air, and would roll on the ground a few meters away from me teasingly, but would jump up and run away if approached. I sat on the floor and she crept up to sniff my outstretched hand, but would come no closer. When i got up to pursue her, she darted away through a tiny square hole in a garden gate, which i was astonished that she squeezed through with ease. Her little disembodied face continued to watch me from a distance with playful curiosity poking out of the cat-hole in the gate. I tried to put my hand through the hole but she moved back to conceal herself. I peeked over the tall gate on tiptoes and saw her, just on the other side, teasing me. At this point, a girl turned the corner onto the street i was on, and i sheepishly decided to move on.
Walking further from home, the sound of strange insects chirruping in the warm night air, I came upon a car park with a couple of camper vans parked in it. It was clear they had inhabitants from the smell of warm buttered crepes which was emanating from them. Quite a sickly smell that turned my stomach a bit. There was a field with disinterested horses in who were munching grass and wouldn't approach me, and at the other end of the carpark, closed gates to what i hoped was a park. Alas, it was a cemetery. I peeked through the metal bars and saw big stone gravestones with Breton names twinkling on them in the starlight. The fence was too high to scale, and indeed, why would i want to sulk in a cemetery alone? While doing a circuit of the car-park, very much hoping that someone would peek their head out of a camper van and befriend me, and shatter my loneliness, i was suddenly shocked by a huge black dog walking towards me.
My first instinct was to stroke it, as with any animal, but then i saw the menace in it's slow, considered walk towards me. It didn't hesitate or flinch but looked at me with an almost human face as it approached. It was an enormous dog, a real hound of the baskerville's. it's eyes looked right into mine, and it let out the deepest most sinister growl, a low note of hate that echoed through the silence. I turned and walked calmly away, and when it was satisfied that i was going, it returned to one of the camper-vans. It stood on the other side of the van as i walked away sneaking peeks back, and though it was concealed, i could still see it's four enormous paws.
Voila, here i am. I feel content that i've managed to write something finally. Hopefully many more entries will follow that will be something i can look back on with interest, when i'm in happier more comfortable times.
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